September 2019
There is only one entry for this month but it's a very long and bizarre one so here it is in all its glory.
September 20th 2019: Magic stupid bullshit dream So it starts with me being the captain of the guard or the king's knight or something? And the king is like "you must find the artifacts" and I'm like "what artifacts" and the King is like "you know, THE artifacts". And I'm like "no?"
So he's like "speak to the great sage in the castle garden" so i go to the MASSIVE castle garden and there's this fucking shack and this midget kid steps out and she's like "the enchantress trusted me with them but alas i lost them in the ocean" and I'm like CHILD the ocean is 50 million miles away from here HOW THE FUCK did you lose it in the ocean? YOU NEVER LEAVE THE CASTLE.
But we go there anyway and we see them suspended in the sea and its just a hairband and a bottle but i guess its MAGIC hairband and a MAGIC bottle. But there's an evil wizard monster standing on the shore, and you know how in bad game cutscenes you can easily see the enemy just standing there in full view and yet its acting like you can't and none of the characters can? It's like that. So he's just turning the ocean into a washing machine every time my party tries to go in there and you can see him wigglin his fingers there so im yelling GET OUT OF THE OCEAN. GET. OUT. YOU. IDIOTS.
And they finally get out but then I GO IN FOR SOME REASON and the wizard has to magically drag me out coz the water went fuckin spin cycle and i couldn't handle it.
Then the monster leaves and we finally get the artifacts and take them home, but the castle is full of towns folk coz the fuckin town got yeeted by the monsters because they were waiting for us to get the artifacts so they could steal them and destroy us all at once. And i just stand there saying "why?" And i woke up.
The first thing i think when i wake up is "WHAT DO THE ARTIFACTS DO????"
